Sorry if you've posted this before and I didn't read the entire predicament, but why don't you just claim it as vandalism, get it painted, and (if you still want to) do graphics over nice, new paint? You could do a 7 or 8 year auto vinyl and customize it to whatever you wanted.

Unless you don't have comprehensive, you should be covered.

I'm sure you've already thought of this, though, and are looking at alternatives... correct?