Tone:
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I hear you - and I believe you. And the pictures of you in action - especially the stadium picture - just blow my mind. I do not understand it.
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???
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I have the replacements sitting in the garage. I plan to this weekend - or early next week.
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I just purchased my VX - 35K miles - and the shocks are so bad that I refrain from driving it.
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I also looked at another VX for sale in my area - with 37K - and the shock absorbers were also shot.

In both cases, the dealers said 'that is the way that they ride'. Since when did the 'bounce test' go out of style ? knew better - and purchased it and promptly placed an order for four Monomax
shock absorbers.
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I have used KYB Gas-Adjusts, my friends have used Monomax's, so my recommendation is not without base.
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As for my knowledge about the VX - you forgot more than I will ever know. But my first hand experience with the two low mileage vehicles I looked at - and the many posts I have read on this board have convinced me that the OEM shocks are unreliable.