There there, that's no way to look at it. Try to see it as an exercise in intimacy with your new rig. Sounds like you got to know it in one night more than many do in several months, if ever.
Regarding the actual issue though...? Have you considered it may just be a lighting issue? The sound of the drivetrain is noticeably different with TOD engaging. Try to break it free on snow, ice, sand, or other slippery surface and see if you can feel or hear whether it's functioning. Also, try placing it into 4-Lo and see if that wakes anything up. Doing so should illuminate the full front and rear indicators.
Good luck, keep us posted.
-V