Shock question.....
should the shock extend all the way out, as in under pressure? After removal mine stays where ever you put it. Pull it out, it stays.... push it in... no move...
That means your shock is blown. If they have pressure(which they need to function) then they'll extend all the way out.

There isn't enough of the bolt sticking above the control arm to get a wrench on it. Anybody have suggestions??
If we're thinking about the same bolts, can you cut the nut off of the other side? If not can you wedge something in the top to prevent it from turning? I don't know how equipped you are, but an old screwdriver tack welded to the head of the bolt does wonders.