Political humor

[HOT_WASABI_JUNKIE]

I got One!

What's the difference between a conservative republicant and a bucket of §hit?........ The bucket.

How does the Republican party separate the men from the boys?....

With a crowbar!

How long does it take a republican to turn a surplus into the worst financial downturn since the great depression?

Two terms...

What do you call a closeted gay Republican?

Senator

Did you read George Bush's new book?

Neither did he...

Dan Quale, George Bush, and Sarah Palin meet at a bar. Sara has a few belts and says,
"Ill sleep with one of you guys, but I only like intelligent men with a gift for gab, and christian values."

Both men went home, and Sara wound up banging Jesus that night.

[Marlin]

I got One!

What's the difference between a conservative republicant and a bucket of §hit?........ The bucket.

How does the Republican party separate the men from the boys?....

With a crowbar!

How long does it take a republican to turn a surplus into the worst financial downturn since the great depression?

Two terms...

What do you call a closeted gay Republican?

Senator

Did you read George Bush's new book?

Neither did he...

Dan Quale, George Bush, and Sarah Palin meet at a bar. Sara has a few belts and says,
"Ill sleep with one of you guys, but I only like intelligent men with a gift for gab, and christian values."

Both men went home, and Sara wound up banging Jesus that night.

Nice collection of jokes...probably some welfare recipient spent the whole day on the net searching for those on internet he stole from his working neighbors.

[HOT_WASABI_JUNKIE]

Actually, I made them all up.

And most of the people that are on welfare right now are on it because you and other clowns in your party thought GWB would be a good president.

It's gonna be a long time before this country trusts republicans again so I'd sit your *** down and get comfortable.

Fillibuster that!

[Marlin]

Actually, I made them all up.

And most of the people that are on welfare right now are on it because you and other clowns in your party thought GWB would be a good president.

It's gonna be a long time before this country trusts republicans again so I'd sit your *** down and get comfortable.

Fillibuster that!

LOL,
well, if you must know, the housing crisis was caused by the Clinton administration forcing Fannie-Mae to give loans to people who thought they deserved to own their own home, but couldn't really afford it. The housing bubble collapse started several years ago, and was never recognized until the government driven balloon payments came due. This was the real foundation of the current "economic crisis" Strange that the rest of the world, much more liberal in comparison to us, is going through the same thing if not worse. But I do recognize the fact that all politicians suck. Tis the nature of the beast.

Here is a good one for you:

Sally came home from college for the first time. Her dad hugged her and asked her how school was going.
"Great dad, I made the Dean's list with a 3.5 GPA!!!!"
He congratulated her and asker her how her best friend from high school, Tabitha, was doing.
"Not so good dad, she only has a 2.5 and is barely hanging on, she skips class, sleeps in, goes out to parties every night, already had one abortion"
Her dad has a wonderful idea:
"Honey, go to the Dean, ask him to take your 3.5 and her 2.5 and just split it down the middle, a 3.0 for each of you, and as far as the total amount of work that was done, it will all work out in the end to be the same."
Sally responded vehemently "HELL NO!!! I WORKED MY *** OFF FOR THAT 3.5"

Her dad smiled and offered his hand "Welcome to the Republican Party".

So, after you read this on the internet that you pay 39 bucks a month for, and then hop in your sweet VX and go to work, contemplate giving these things up, after all, there are a bunch of lazy POS democrat supporters that need your money to fund their laziness. Maybe you can sell the VX and buy several bicycles, then you can help out those who don't have as much as you. But wait, you worked hard to get the things you have, why should you be the one to give them up to those who don't deserve them?

[HOT_WASABI_JUNKIE]

LOL,
well, if you must know, the housing crisis was caused by the Clinton administration forcing Fannie-Mae to give loans to people who thought they deserved to own their own home, but couldn't really afford it. The housing bubble collapse started several years ago, and was never recognized until the government driven balloon payments came due. This was the real foundation of the current "economic crisis" Strange that the rest of the world, much more liberal in comparison to us, is going through the same thing if not worse. But I do recognize the fact that all politicians suck. Tis the nature of the beast.

Here is a good one for you:

Sally came home from college for the first time. Her dad hugged her and asked her how school was going.
"Great dad, I made the Dean's list with a 3.5 GPA!!!!"
He congratulated her and asker her how her best friend from high school, Tabitha, was doing.
"Not so good dad, she only has a 2.5 and is barely hanging on, she skips class, sleeps in, goes out to parties every night, already had one abortion"
Her dad has a wonderful idea:
"Honey, go to the Dean, ask him to take your 3.5 and her 2.5 and just split it down the middle, a 3.0 for each of you, and as far as the total amount of work that was done, it will all work out in the end to be the same."
Sally responded vehemently "HELL NO!!! I WORKED MY *** OFF FOR THAT 3.5"

Her dad smiled and offered his hand "Welcome to the Republican Party".

So, after you read this on the internet that you pay 39 bucks a month for, and then hop in your sweet VX and go to work, contemplate giving these things up, after all, there are a bunch of lazy POS democrat supporters that need your money to fund their laziness. Maybe you can sell the VX and buy several bicycles, then you can help out those who don't have as much as you. But wait, you worked hard to get the things you have, why should you be the one to give them up to those who don't deserve them?

It's typical that you'd blame Clinton.
He was out of office in like 2000?
Bush had almost a decade to reform any policy Clinton inacted that would put this country in financial risk. Instead. He gave tax cuts to the most wealthy Americans while financing two wars. It was to his benifit, the housing boom that happened between 2003-2006 was the pinnacle of his career, and we all know what the aftermath was from that.
One of the best things that came out of the Bush years...
Sept 11th..
Follow me on this..
After the attacks America came together,
Republicans, Democrats, Blacks,whites, mexicans, asians, liberals, conservative all came together and pointed a collective middle finger at the bastards that sucker punched us.

Now fast forward to now...
Because of the deep recession that has now lasted close to 3 years, we all need to come together and help the folks who are struggling.
That's not liberal, that's human.
All the aid that people are getting is not just freeloaders..
Its your mom, your uncle, your next door neighbor,it's your fellow countrymen who worked and worked till the work ran out, because nobody is spending money.

How many people in this forum have lost a home or are gonna lose one?
Or a job? Or jobs? It's not because you could not afford the house when you bought it, it's because when the economy crashed, and people lost their incomes.

I don't see America like you do. I don't see a bunch of losers who don't want to work, Quite the opposite really, I see people doing whatever they can do to get by and being creative and determined to survive under some of the worst economic times in our history.

"Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen! "

Otter

[Marlin]

It's typical that you'd blame Clinton.
He was out of office in like 2000?

All the aid that people are getting is not just freeloaders..
Its your mom, your uncle, your next door neighbor,it's your fellow countrymen who worked and worked till the work ran out, because nobody is spending money.

You are exactly right, but it is NOT THE GOVERNMENT'S JOB to provide for others. That is what churches, charities, neighbors and family are for. Taking from me what I worked my *** off for and giving to someone who did not is not helping anyone.
The economic crisis spawned from the housing crash. PERIOD. In the Navy, your job is defined by your rate. We have a saying, "choose your rate, choose your fate". If you chose to work in a non-secure field and subsequently lose your job, get over it and move on. There are lots of jobs out there, I am sure I can take a white collar worker and they can do manual labor just fine, they just aren't willing to "stoop" to that level. So do not give me that whiny "life isn't fair" BS. The jobs are out there, you might have to move, Alaska has a bunch of jobs. Believe it or not, living in Southern California is not a right. Having a nice car is not a right. Having a boat and your own house is not a right. Health care is not a right. Having a gun is a right, having the freedom of speech is a right.

[don moore]

Nice collection of jokes...probably some welfare recipient spent the whole day on the net searching for those on internet he stole from his working neighbors.

should have read like this
Nice collection of jokes...probably H.W.J. spent the whole day on the net searching for those on internet he stole from his working neighbors.

GOD BLESS the new USSA

[circmand]

When an armed robber breaks into your home at gun point and takes stuff you worked hard to get he gets arrested and sent to jail?

But when the government takes money right from your pay check and threatens to take everything from you backed up by the threat of gunpoint it is considered morally right?

HWJ if you want to take all your wordly possesions sell them and give them to the poor that would be charitable and human. But when you or other liberals decide to take my property and income and give them to other people YOU consider deserving that is socialism. I dontae time and money to organizations I feel are worthy. That is my right. What gives you the right to decide where my money goes?

Did you realize that before you get your paycheck the FEd takes over 30% off the top. Then depending what state you live in they take 8%, then depending on the muni you live in another 5%. If you own your own home they take several thousand a year. On top of that any money you spend there is sales tax around 8%. This is the level of taxes not for the rich but for the average working. Of which there were more under Bush @ 6% unemployment than BO at 10% even after paying unions and govt workers $800,000,000,000 under the so called stimulous. That means the average worker pays 50% of his money in taxes. That is TOO MUCH.

I am all for helping my fellow man. I doubt you could find many people who gleefully watches his fellowman starve. However, I have a pecking order and while it may be selfish it is my family first. For some reason liberals seem to think there is an endless upply of money just sitting around. There is not and you just cant keep spending money for every program even if it is a good cause without cutting it elsewhere.

[HOT_WASABI_JUNKIE]

When an armed robber breaks into your home at gun point and takes stuff you worked hard to get he gets arrested and sent to jail?

But when the government takes money right from your pay check and threatens to take everything from you backed up by the threat of gunpoint it is considered morally right?

HWJ if you want to take all your wordly possesions sell them and give them to the poor that would be charitable and human. But when you or other liberals decide to take my property and income and give them to other people YOU consider deserving that is socialism. I dontae time and money to organizations I feel are worthy. That is my right. What gives you the right to decide where my money goes?

Did you realize that before you get your paycheck the FEd takes over 30% off the top. Then depending what state you live in they take 8%, then depending on the muni you live in another 5%. If you own your own home they take several thousand a year. On top of that any money you spend there is sales tax around 8%. This is the level of taxes not for the rich but for the average working. Of which there were more under Bush @ 6% unemployment than BO at 10% even after paying unions and govt workers $800,000,000,000 under the so called stimulous. That means the average worker pays 50% of his money in taxes. That is TOO MUCH.

I am all for helping my fellow man. I doubt you could find many people who gleefully watches his fellowman starve. However, I have a pecking order and while it may be selfish it is my family first. For some reason liberals seem to think there is an endless upply of money just sitting around. There is not and you just cant keep spending money for every program even if it is a good cause without cutting it elsewhere.

I find it interesting that you were not complaining about taxes when Bush was in office...And at this time taxes are exactly the same now as they were then, Obama is not raising taxes, The uneven Bush tax cuts are now expiring for those who make 250 grand a year or more...I think it's not that you mind paying taxes, You just don't like paying them to a black guy with a funny name.

You are exactly right, but it is NOT THE GOVERNMENT'S JOB to provide for others. That is what churches, charities, neighbors and family are for. Taking from me what I worked my *** off for and giving to someone who did not is not helping anyone.
The economic crisis spawned from the housing crash. PERIOD. In the Navy, your job is defined by your rate. We have a saying, "choose your rate, choose your fate". If you chose to work in a non-secure field and subsequently lose your job, get over it and move on. There are lots of jobs out there, I am sure I can take a white collar worker and they can do manual labor just fine, they just aren't willing to "stoop" to that level. So do not give me that whiny "life isn't fair" BS. The jobs are out there, you might have to move, Alaska has a bunch of jobs. Believe it or not, living in Southern California is not a right. Having a nice car is not a right. Having a boat and your own house is not a right. Health care is not a right. Having a gun is a right, having the freedom of speech is a right.

I don't think it's the governments job to start pre-emptive wars .It's cool you work for the Navy, The Navy is funded by taxpayers, So basically you work for me. I know the military basically will take anyone who can hold a gun and count to three. In other words, It's not like a company that wants to see experience or education, They just bottom feed for people that have no other options but to shoot or be shot.

I am all for my tax dollars funding wars to shoot the poor underprivileged overseas as long as some of my tax dollars are used to feed the poor and underprivileged that live in every town in the US. Some of them, ex-military, some of them republicans, and some of them bums milking the system.
I lived through the Bush years and watched him take this country to a new low, and watched McCain promise he'd do things the same...That's why he lost.
Obama would not have to be putting out so much seed money if Bush spent more time thinking about the country and less time taking vacations ( more than any other sitting Prez)

[HOT_WASABI_JUNKIE]

By the way Ill take my burger with avocado and sprouts..

California style Beeeotch!

[Ldub]

By the way Ill take my burger with avocado and sprouts..

California style Beeeotch!

And liberal amounts of wasabi?...

[circmand]

I find it interesting that you were not complaining about taxes when Bush was in office...And at this time taxes are exactly the same now as they were then, Obama is not raising taxes, The uneven Bush tax cuts are now expiring for those who make 250 grand a year or more...I think it's not that you mind paying taxes, You just don't like paying them to a black guy with a funny name.

about paying taxes since I started realizing how they are being wasted. I am all for paying my share but BO's $800,000,000,000 bribe to unions and state governments has every tax payer paying more than their share. On top of falsely claiming I supported taxes before BO I find it very interesting you rant about the cost of the war when in the last bill past to cover the war in Afghanistan more than 50% of the bill was pork put there and approved by the government that had NOTHING to do with the cost of the war.

On top of that how do you claim that people who pay a higher portion of their salaries and most of the total paid in taxes should not be the recipients of tax cuts as opposed to people who get more money from the government than they pay plus a bunch more in welfare programs and other socialist programs. You have many people paying zero taxes yet as a result of the nanny state still get what is called a tax refund. But how the hell can you refund money that was never paid? I feel for the people who have recently gotten hit by the economy resulting from the Democrats forcing banks to give mortgages to people who could not afford payments but you have people who have been unemployed going back 3 generations. That means they dont work, their parents didnt work. are you telling me in all that time none of them could find a job? They apparently got enough government welfare to raise another generation of unwilling to work kids. Apparently there were enough jobs for 12 million illegals risked death to come here to work. Those same illegals BO and the liberals want to make US citizens for breaking laws, stealing identities, and not paying taxes. Hell you mean even under Billy Boy Clinton the economy was so bad they couldnt find jobs? Then you must think Clinton a bad president? Why is it 2 years after BO became president he can still blame Bush but everything that happened the day Bush was elected is all his fault?