Stupid question+great response=priceless

[PK]

I have met Major General Peter Cosgrove.
He is a very nice, and extremely knowledgeable man.

For him to say that to a female reporter, she must have really p*ssed him off.

PK

[Y33TREKker]

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?

_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid

__________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________


And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[technocoy]

That's an awesome interview. It was extremely annoying that she just kept harping on the issue.

First of all. It's scouts. One of the major points if not the foremost one is teaching survival and outdoors living technique. Well, that's pretty difficult when not armed. Not saying it's not doable, just that you'd be a much skinnier person if you managed to do it without.

She also doesn't help herself with the uppity tone she took with him. As though somehow she was his superior and was schooling him in a sarcastic way. She barked up the wrong tree that time.

Better to understand how, when, and why you should use it than to send someone out there all willy nilly playing with the trigger at random. Very similar to mouths, opinions and body parts.

Ugh.

[JoFotoz]

Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party when he bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist Member of Parliament.

“Mr. Churchill, you are drunk,” ...Braddock said harshly.

Churchill paused and said,..

“And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly...However I’ll be sober in the morning.”


Game , set & match!


jo

[handeeman]

Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party when he bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist Member of Parliament.

“Mr. Churchill, you are drunk,” ...Braddock said harshly.

Churchill paused and said,..

“And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly...However I’ll be sober in the morning.”


Game , set & match!


jo

There is also the story of Bessie saying to him "Sir Winston if you were my husband I'd give you poison"

Churchill replied;
" Lady Braddock, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

[tom4bren]

There is also the story of Bessie saying to him "Sir Winston if you were my husband I'd give you poison"

Churchill replied;
" Lady Braddock, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Soooooooo many things that could be said ... but shouldn't.

[tom4bren]

I have met Major General Peter Cosgrove.
He is a very nice, and extremely knowledgeable man.

For him to say that to a female reporter, she must have really p*ssed him off.

PK

If you ever meet him again, be sure to ask him if the quote is true or if this is a paparazzi hoax.