Can't let it go...

[psychos2]

I'm probably gonna flex an unwanted X chromosome here...

Jamas, You know I followed the whole thing as it unfolded. What I saw was someone who wanted to use this fine forum to do one thing - sell their VX free of charge. I view people like that almost as spammers except they may help someone else join the group for the RIGHT reasons. I like that Scott wants to install new protocol for those folks who only join to sell a VX. However, I have to say your phrasing was poor. If you wanted to say "it seems so many people have a hard time creating a decent ad for the vehicle they wish to sell." you could have done it with more tact. I read what you wrote as if you were singling that person out; and effectively, it did. What I got a kick out of was both of you were doing the same thing - phrasing things poorly! You called them on it and then it bit you in the butt because of your phrasing. They reacted almost the same way you may be now by feeling singled out. The difference is, you are comfortable here and they are new and unknowing of how we play. You continued to poke at that person when you said "feel free to offer an apology"... They really had no reason to apologize for reacting to how they felt they were being treated by you. If you would have followed your own advice and offered your own apology instead of asking them to, the situtation would not have continued to escalate. I have never seen a time when the "A-double S" came thru unedited like that. So keep in mind people have delivered that word before, it was just kinda shocking to see it letter for letter and over and over again in one thread. That's what stood out to me in that thread and that is on them, but again, they didn't know as this is unfamiliar territory. Some forums allow cursing. Overall, I'm sorry, but I have to say you most likely put that chip on their shoulder...

I second that.Except the part about selling for free.If it is a vx and someone here is looking for one as they always are than what is the problem.A donation would be nice ,but it is not required.And I hate seeing people jump on someone saying they need to donate.That drives people away.If everyone has to donate than there needs to be a membership fee otherwise don't hound people.And the joking part about the ad (in this post) does not help matters either.Again drives people away,makes us look like a bunch of ********. shawn

[Moncha]

As my first post in the thread stated, "I would consider this as a "we got off on the wrong foot" encounter"".
I received a couple "reports" on the thread but that does not mean that I'm going to automatically and instantly close the thread. I censored the parts that were offensive and against site rules and notified the OP of their misdoings in that same post. I don't feel that I needed to take sides as being the "admin", I have to look at it from both.

I received a request from the OP to delete their account as they did not feel like this was a place where they would feel welcome. I explained that I believed that there was no malice intended and that posts sometimes sound different and sometimes offensive when there is no accompanying facial or body language to go with. The OP insisted on the deletion of their account and that was granted.

So, let me explain a little more;
The original post regarding the sale of the vehicle was from a female and the follow-up (offensive) postings were from her husband. She is new and as all new folks to anything, she may have been a little timid in how or what to post regarding her VX. According to her, the post was a "feeler" about selling and she had multiple family members that also have VXs.

He, the husband, apparently took the first response she got, your "observation" about the ad (The first impression of the site for him) as an attack on her personally and as any husband would do, his feathers got ruffled and he defended her. I'm not saying it was appropriate but it could be understandable.

Here's my stand;
I could have just deleted the thread, deleted her (Their) account and said "oh, well".
My problem with that is I see both side of the picture. Therefore I did what I did. I deleted all but my responses and the thread title. My first post in the closed thread was left as a reminder as to what language is appropriate on the site and where they can find the rules stating as such.

My second post, states that the OP asked me to delete the thread which I did (Although, I only soft delete items). There was no reference to anyone save for the OP's deleted username and my username.
I can say, yes, I'm disappointed because I am.
I simply made a statement that everyone is welcome. (and I do however, think you could have worded your "welcome with open arms" statement to her a little better but wasn't going to say it in public until now)
I also asked for EVERYONE to check their posts and to think before hitting the submit button. I did not specify anyone in particular in that statement on purpose.
If you feel that I am pointing you out to everyone, then I'm sorry. It was meant as a general reminder.

[tom4bren]

I've got a size 9 1/2 mouth at times so I feel ya boss man.

I've also gone back and re-read some of my early posts & wonder what I was thinking. I just attribute it to having too many 'lightning bolts down my shorts' & move on.

If you still have that ex-member's email addy please let them know that they should not direct their family members (who own VX's) to stay away. I'm assuming that the lady who started the thread has sold hers & is no longer interested.

[Moncha]

AFIAK, she was only feeling it out and would only sell to the "Right Person".

[Anita]

I appologize in advance for stirring things back up, but this has been bothering me and I simply can not let it go. I have tried just forgetting about it, but I am having difficulty doing so.

Know that you are of value to us and this forum.

I was one of many who contacted Scott to pull the plug on that guy. I have learned the hard way that inserting myself into fights with those kind of personalities escalates the warfare geometrically. So I have learned to stay out and do what I can behind the scenes. Right or wrong, I have the sense that your brethren and sistren felt the same way.

When the next altercation occurs, PM each other for help. Sometimes you have to elbow your bonehead family members before they get the message.

Dont go away JAMAS. You arent allowed.

[Ldub]

Know that you are of value to us and this forum.

I was one of many who contacted Scott to pull the plug on that guy. I have learned the hard way that inserting myself into fights with those kind of personalities escalates the warfare geometrically. So I have learned to stay out and do what I can behind the scenes. Right or wrong, I have the sense that your brethren and sistren felt the same way.

When the next altercation occurs, PM each other for help. Sometimes you have to elbow your bonehead family members before they get the message.

Dont go away JAMAS. You arent allowed.

Well said..

[JAMAS]

Thanks guys.

I appreciate the feedback. I feel much better now that I have gotten it out there and have heard a lot of supportive comments. I understand how things can be misinterpreted and why that could upset someone. However, a misinterpreted comment should never have invoked a response like that.

Thanks again to everyone for the support. It is much appreciated.

[vt_maverick]

Let it go Neo er... JAMAS.

Seriously, the best thing you can do on a forum when something like this happens is to email the admins, close the thread, and never view it again. People with that kind of just-below-the-surface anger feed on conflict, so putting them in virtual time-out by simply ignoring them is the best (and funniest if you think about it) way to deal with them.

[ZEUS]

...And on which side is this steering wheel you speak of?

[Gussie2000]

Hi you !
I'm interest in car you got for sale.
Can't you tell if it comes with an engine ?

[Osteomata]

I'm sure glad I never get involved in contentious threads.

[nfpgasmask]

I don't know what the original post was, nor did I read all the replies here, but I will say this:

This is an Internet forum. There is absolutely nothing on here that anyone should get riled up over. The fact that people get angry over things said online is about as ridiculous as getting pissed off over a video game.

I dunno, that's just my opinion. Real life takes precedence over virtual life for me. That is why you didn't see me on that thread. I have too many real things to worry about to get worked up over some crap someone said online.

You all know me as a very opinionated person. I am. And while you might think I am getting heated about an issue because of the way I write (prime example, my discussion about the color of the hood insert with circmand) I can assure you it is all in good fun.



Bart

[VXR]

The fact that people get angry over things said online is about as ridiculous as getting pissed off over a video game.

You have never got pissed off at a video game? Your not playing the right games

[nfpgasmask]

You have never got pissed off at a video game? Your not playing the right games

Actually, I kicked a hole through my coffee table over Tekken Tag Tournament years ago. And yes, after I cooled down I realized how ridiculous it was of me to do that. Tekken is the only game that gets me heated.

Bart

[ZEUS]

OH CARP! It doesn't have a tilt wheel... BUT you can scale some huge boulders and when the whole thing flexes out the two front "steering wheels" DO tilt because they are on a solid axle!! :P