What I'm reading from this is that you have integrated video in the motherboard AND a video card. Why not hook the monitor up via one of the DVI on the video card, and the TV via the HDMI on the integrated video?
The only problem I see possibly arising in that situation is driver conflicts if you have two different brands of video drivers. (like integrated NVIDIA external ATI or vice-versa) But it is also my understanding that vista or 7 can handle multiple video drivers with no conflict. Last time I tried to run two different cards was back in the XP days.
If you are still struggling with it, the official forum for the motherboard manufacture is often EXTREMELY helpful