Took it to Rebreu Auto Body just up the road from me in north Austin. One of the techs took my keys, sped off, came back three minutes later with NO RUSTY BOLT. I tried to give him money but he wouldn't take any! And I'll never know how they did it... 
Now I get to reverse the procedure and try to get the new insert installed right-side-up. Photos when available.
OEM roof rack, Thule Xpedition 696 rack, Rancho RS9000 shocks, OME 913 coil springs, 3" lift, American Racing Teflon Chambers wheels, Yokohama Geolandar HT/S G051 tires (275/70/16), Energy Suspension greaseable bushings, steel-braided Kevlar-reinforced brake lines, WeatherTech wind deflectors, Malibu 18w driving lights, Plasma SuperWhite 100w headlights, NGK Iridium plugs, K&N drop-in air filter, Optima Red Top, Psychos2 rear-door subwoofer enclosure w/CDT Audio 10" sub, Blaupunkt subwoofer amp, iPod Video 80GB, Kenwood KVT-617 DVD head unit w/7" motorized touch-screen, Kenwood GPS HD navigation module, Kenwood iPod adapter, Kenwood back-up camera, Sirius radio, Flowmaster Extreme Off-Road muffler (black diamond-plate steel) w/ carbon fiber tip, Ford Taurus OEM cup-holder/coin tray (single-DIN/lower bay), personalized license plate "ORBITAL", 3M window tint, debadged, removed rear seat, custom 'radiation symbol' side magnetic signs, VX Concepts front skid plate