Could sell fleas to a dog
Could sell sand to a camel
CrackBerry
Mary Jane (surely no explanation needed)
Lindsay Lohan (cocaine)
Dropping a deuce
Nancy boy
Bat out of hell
Hair on fire
Lead foot
Hope/Change (status quo + nice speeches - little dig at you Obama supporters )
Colder than a witch's tit in a metal bra
A long way from Kansas
Going postal
Rodney King treatment
Drinkin' the Kool-Aid
Junk in the trunk
Budonkadonk (sp?)
Few bricks short of a load
Feature (as opposed to bug)
Watching paint dry
Took us to the woodshed
Crankin' a brewski
Every squirrel finds a nut eventually
Getting his ***** handed to him
Firedog (AF term for fireman)
Blue light special (cops on the way)

I had about 20 more phrases but ended up deleting them due to the "questionable taste" restriction.