Euphemisms for the ages...

[Ldub]

Thought I'd start a new one tonight...kinda bored, don't cha know - ya sure you betcha.

See what kind of euphemism you can dig up from your memory banks, or get all smarty pants & make yer own...

Keep it clean & somewhat tasteful...but mostly, post what makes you laugh...

After watching the parking lot camera this evening, I'll start with:

Throwin' down a stomach pizza, as a euphemism for:

MAN that little guy left a big pizza...

I know y'all gonna come up with some pretty awful stuff, just TRY to keep it almost within the realm of "questionably good taste"...

[JAMAS]

From what I can tell, 50% of their language is based on it...

Examples:

Its Cats and Dogs outside (its raining alot)

Courtesy of Green Street Hooligans:
Hes in Rubble (Barney Rubble, Trouble)
Bees and Honey (Money)

[tom4bren]

'Gooder n grits'

'slicker n snot'

Wifey laughs her butt off when I use this one (but ya gotta turn on your best southern drawl when you say it)

'It don't make no nevermind to me'

I know, they're not really euphamisms but my brain ain't quite woke up yet so it's the best I could do.

[vt_maverick]

Here's a few I've picked up working with the military:

"Volun-told" - EXAMPLE: "We're doing our monthly <insert volunteer project here> this weekend, and I expect you all to be there."

"Tell the story right" - TRANSLATION: We need to justify our funding for the next fiscal year, and since our efforts to-date have largely failed, we're going to invent a best-case scenario story and practice telling it until we're sure the general will believe it.

And some that my wife likes to use:

"Maybe" - TRANSLATION: I don't want to say "no" so I'm just not going to say yes and hope you forget to ask again.

"Are you sure you don't want to do <insert thing I don't want to do here>?" - TRANSLATION: I'm giving you a chance to agree before I get mad for having to tell you to do it.

"Me: Is something wrong? Her: No" - TRANSLATION - YES, and you better figure it out because if you're too dumb to know then I'm going to be even more mad.

[JAMAS]

Husbands/Boyfriends will know about these....

The "Honey-do" list. (our list of stuff to do)

"We" (Example: "You know WE should hang those pictures today while I am at work")

[tom4bren]

""We" (Example: "You know WE should hang those pictures today while I am at work")"

Warning: Last time that line was used, I responded without thinking "What's this 'we' crap". With therapy, I learned to walk again.

[JAMAS]

""We" (Example: "You know WE should hang those pictures today while I am at work")"

Warning: Last time that line was used, I responded without thinking "What's this 'we' crap". With therapy, I learned to walk again.

I usually reply with "Well we are <whatever I am doing at the moment> so we'll have to do that when we are finished"....

its kinda a long running joke, so I don't get hit

[JGeorge264]

There is no "I" in we.. as in when I tell them "we" need to get a certain project completed.

[VX KAT]

I like this one...even saw it used once in an AutoWeek article...

"goes like stink!"....meaning, it goes really fast

[Ldub]

Dumb as a box of rocks

Not the sharpest tack in the pack

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

A couple cans shy of a six pack

Goes like a scalded dog (thanks for jogging my brain into gear Kat)

Needs a checkup from the neck up

Fell out the ugly tree, & hit every branch on the way down


We're just gettin' started here...

[don moore]

"WHOLY CRAP".. it means "OH MY GOD"....or "NO WAY"...or "WHAT".. or "YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING"..


"WOW"..means "SICK"... or "TIGHT"..or"WAY OUT"..or"GROVY".. or "KEEN"

[Jolly Roger VX'er]

"She's a Tom Dempsey." (A gal that looks good 'til she's closer than 63 yards)

"Not the Brightest Bulb on the Scoreboard."

"A few cards short of a full deck."

"Jokem if they can't take a f--k."

[VX KAT]

Couple crayons shy of a 64 pack..

Smooth move Ex Lax!

Is a frog's arse watertight?

Does a bear **** (crap) in the woods?

Does a cat have an arse?

You could sell sand to an Arab

You could sell ice to an Eskimo

If I want your opinion I'll give it to you.

He doesn't know s**t from shinola

You're a fine example of a person that wears a beanie with the propeller on the inside

[lasturbo]

About as sharp as a marble.
A few clowns short of a circus.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
He only has one oar in the water.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.

[don moore]

sharp as a tack..wonder what end they are talking about....