its time for a new thread in here...

[pbkid]

just some food for thought-

why is it that when you blow in a dog's face they get angry...yet they stick their head out the window in the car???

some other oxymorons that dont make sense-
dry lake
crash landing
living dead
detailed summary

why do we say these things???
A little pain never hurt anyone.
May I ask a question?
We are not anticipating any emergencies.
Evil isn’t all bad.

haven't personally heard this one...but it makes sense..and this is Ldubs thread..and it reminds me of him..so i decided to add it here..
-The first condition of immortality is death.

ok...and some more food for thought/ or questions questionable to mankind-
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan\’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can\’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ***?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

[Jolly Roger VX'er]

Ever wonder why you Park in a Driveway but, Drive on a Parkway?

On the original Star Trek episodes....Why do they always beam down to a planet in a T-shirt and then end up heating up rocks with a phasor to keep warm????

When they say 4 outta 5 dentists (or doctors) recommends <whatever>....who the heck goes to the one with the differing opinion from the other 4?????

When People in this Country complain about Illegal Immigration and suggest a better fence/wall to keep them out after they are deported......Who's gonna build it?
(Okay..my idea...have THEM build the fence BEFORE deporting them and then biotch about the other side.....when they go to look at what you are complaining about...slam the gate...)

In the Star Wars Movies.....how come you can hear the laser blasts and explosions during a space battle yet sound cannot happen in a vacuum?

In a fridge...how do you know for sure the light actually goes out when you close the door...I mean...everytime you open the fridge the light is ON!

If a Tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it fall...does it make a sound?

Does Lightening actually strike the ground from a cloud????? Conventional Electrical Theory says electricity flows from (-) to (+)....or from "ground".....according to theory it should rise out of the ground and strike the cloud???????

When she says "Don't.....Stop..." is it the same as when she says "Don't Stop!....Don't Stop!!"

If the only thing standing between you and freedom is a mine field....Would you cross said mine field while chained (by the ankle) to Ronald McDonald????

[circmand]

just some food for thought-

why is it that when you blow in a dog's face they get angry...yet they stick their head out the window in the car???

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

Bad breath

[tom4bren]

Why do they call it 'rush hour' when you ... aren't (rushing)?

[nfpgasmask]

why is it that when you blow in a dog's face they get angry...yet they stick their head out the window in the car???

My dog is weird. When I blow in her face, she licks me. And she is to terrified to stick her head out the window of the car.

some other oxymorons that dont make sense-
dry lake
crash landing
living dead
detailed summary

You forgot "factual opinion" - Remember that one?

ok...and some more food for thought/ or questions questionable to mankind-
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

That reminds me of Beavis And Butthead, when Beavis said, "I didn't know cows had boobs, I thought they just had one big nutsack with a bunch of weaners hangin' off it" (Jack, do you know who Beavis And Butthead are? )

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

My mom likes burnt toast, and burnt popcorn. The smell of either makes me sick.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Now THAT reminds me of Ldub. I think he once told me, "Jimmy cracks corn and I don't give a eff!"

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

Well, obviously they dream, but if you were born blind, and you NEVER saw anything to know what anything looks like, what exactly do you see in the mind's eye when you dream? THAT is a very interesting question. I may have to do some web searches on that one!

Bart

[Moncha]

...They say a dog's mouth is "cleaner" than a humans - if I could lick my own butt hole would I have a cleaner mouth?...

That one put an image in my head that no human should see...








Sometimes I hate my job!

[nfpgasmask]

That one put an image in my head that no human should see...

Sometimes I hate my job!

What's worse, is my little pup had coprophagia when she was young..

Bart

[Gussie2000]

If music is the universal language of all why is it that my neighbor who's chinese keeps asking me what i'm singing.

Another thought is:

If the speed of the light is measured by seconds why is it that national grid charge us per hour.

And recently,regarding the air france catastrofy.If cars comes with air bags for impacts why is it that the air plains doesn't came with any when impact on the floor.

[tom4bren]

and the ultimate oxymoron:

Too much offset

[KeithVXlvr]

Goofy is not a dog. Haven't you ever seen 'Stand By Me' ??

[Triathlete]

Wow...this sounds like one big Steven Wright routine...just read all of the above in a dry monotone voice.

[Scott Harness]

THE Classic...Military Intelligence...credit goes to George Carlin

[handeeman]

1. If 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea, does that mean 1 out of 5 enjoys it ?
2. Why do croutons come in an air tight bags? Aren't they just stale bread?
3. If it's true we are here to help others, then what are the others here for?

[tom4bren]

Why do you close your eyes when you sneeze?

[circmand]

Why do so many people feel it is correct to say, "I could care less!"? Well, who's stopping you? Care less if you want to because I couldn't care less!!"?

Actually both are proper maybe I could care less but you couldnt care less.

!"?

If evolution is false, why do we have tail bones?!"?

Called a tail bone because it is where a tail would be if we had one. Apes do not have tails either

!"?

How does gravity work? I mean, if you put a tiny pebble on the side of a tennis ball tied to a string and spin it... you will see the pebble "fall" AWAY from the center, not toward it.!"?

Planets are not being swung around on a string they are in a consistant state of falling with the degree and direction of the fall affected by the mass of the others others

!"?

If heat rises, why does snow last so long on the mountain peaks? Thin air? OK then, we just got back into the gravity question...!"?

Heats only rises if you are standing upright. If you are standing on your head it is falling to your feet. As it is only your perception of up and down. Planets are revolving and spinning in space which has no up or down except in relation to gravity and where and how you are standing Also perhaps heat isnt rising Cold is falling being how molecules contract when cold thereby creating more mass resulting in the cold molecule being more attracted to gravity and pushing hot air up

!"?

They say a dog's mouth is "cleaner" than a humans - if I could lick my own butt hole would I have a cleaner mouth?!"?

Idiots say that as well as morons who write TV scripts ask your vet

!"?

In philosophy class, my "professor" asked me a question as he laid down an eraser. He asked, "If you were to come back here 100 years from now to see what became of this eraser, what would you find?" I told him I would find an eraser. He told me I wouldn't find an eraser, I would only find dust! Why did he fail me after I pointed out, "If I were so inclined to find your precious eraser 100 years from now, it better damn well be there!"?

I think your professor realized that if you were still coming back to the class 100 years from now that is a result of the fact that you did not graduate. So if you found an eraser you were still coming back and in fact still had not graduated. So he flunked you