1rst have the VX drive by a transmission especialist,that way is easier to source the possible issues the TOD/trans is experimenting right now because describing thru letters is hard to get the right answer.

Probably your TOD sensors need to be checked,the shifter can be outter manufacturers's specs,ATF level are low,gears can be worn/broke;What about your tires ? Are the tires all even in tread or they are different brands ?
If you trans gets to hot that means (1) your fluid is not lubricating any more,(2) the coolant is not disipating the heat & all that can cause to perform irregularly,is there any leaks from the T case or trans ?

You are suffering many issues all at the same time & need to take hands over that matter before it goes BOOM