I am so sorry!! Dont beat yourself up about what you could have done or what caused it! I too am an animal lover, I had a dog that passed away and I went and got the exact same kind of dog the same day and named her the same name! Crazy I know, but at the time it totally distracted me from grieving for the old one, and helped me to get out of bed in the mornings! You have tons of love to give to an animal and you it would be good for you AND the animal out there waiting for you!