How many 5 year olds could you take in a fight?

[ZEUS]

Juju Bee (my 8 month old 65lb. Cur) decided that Raisin (2 yr. old Jack Russell thing) was prey, last Thursday nite. I awoke to my wife screaming, and dogs fighting....with five dogs, it's not that unusual, so I didn't do anything for a few seconds. When I got to the kitchen I saw it was real...I tried to pry the Cur dogs jaws open (right) and the little dog starts wearing my right forearm out. Little dog broke away and made it out the back door, but I couldn't hold Juju and she was on her in 30 ft. I jumped in again, and started dragging them to the pool to break it up. I have the Cur by a back leg, she has the Russell by the neck, and the Raisin dog starts on my left foot and big toe. I lost my footing, bounced (my right hip bone) off the pool edge, and all three of us went in the freezing, green, leaf filled water. Fight over. Raisin ended up with 25 or so holes in her neck and back of the head, Juju's muzzle and throat are a bit knawed up, I got four holes in my foot, four in the big toe, six in my right forearm, and a bruise the size of my head on my hip. I don't think my dogs would help me much

That's harsh! I remember you said you were in a dog fight recently, thanks for the details!

Man, I am so hung over. Ugh... Double kegger. I wonder how many kids I could take when drunk...? That reminds me of a joke I heard. What does Michael Jackson like about forty eight year olds? There's forty of them!

The thought of taking on swarms of 5 yo's makes me think of The Matrix. I be Neo, chitlins be Smith.

[WormGod]

26.... I know thats a lie. Hell I cant even take ONE of my nieces or nephews, hahaha....

[navistar]

The average 5 year old weighs 50 to 70 pounds and is an average of 39 inches tall. That's eyeball to my groin and a little hefty to pick up and throw very far. I guess you could gouge their eyes out to incapacitate them and come back later and snap their necks. A 5 year old's body is too soft and 50 pounds is too heavy to use as a club. There'd be a lot of blood on the floor so it would be slippery. You could bare knuckle it for a while.

Of course it depends on the 5 year old. If the kid is big for his age, one day away from this 6th birthday, has been working out, has multiple rapes and murders to his credit already, is a sociopathic leader of a 50 member violent street gang, is high on meth, determined and thinks I'm ugly...well there you are. It might only take one!!

[mbeach]

When I was a kid, working in the dishroom of an Italian restaurant we had a surly cook whose name I forgot. He used to torment all of the busboys and dishwashers mercilessly.

One night, there was a bunch of commotion in the alley behind the place -some kids, about 7-8 years old, had gotten into the dumpster and were breaking bottles on the side of the building.

Mean cook goes outside to investigate, solo. The next thing we heard was what could only be described as "***-kicking noises," when we half-heartedly responded, we saw mean cook laying on the ground, on the receiving end of an elementary school gang beating. He actually ended up in the hospital that night, and he never came back to work.

Funniest thing ever.
This was 20 years ago -I wonder where those "kids" are now..?

[Cobrajet]

The next thing we heard was what could only be described as "***-kicking noises," ...laying on the ground, on the receiving end of an elementary school gang beating...I wonder where those "kids" are now..?

Typical day in DC.

[WormGod]

Typical day in DC.

Midget gangs in Anacostia?

[Techy-D]

Juju Bee (my 8 month old 65lb. Cur) decided that Raisin (2 yr. old Jack Russell thing) was prey, last Thursday nite. I awoke to my wife screaming, and dogs fighting....with five dogs, it's not that unusual, so I didn't do anything for a few seconds. When I got to the kitchen I saw it was real...I tried to pry the Cur dogs jaws open (right) and the little dog starts wearing my right forearm out. Little dog broke away and made it out the back door, but I couldn't hold Juju and she was on her in 30 ft. I jumped in again, and started dragging them to the pool to break it up. I have the Cur by a back leg, she has the Russell by the neck, and the Raisin dog starts on my left foot and big toe. I lost my footing, bounced (my right hip bone) off the pool edge, and all three of us went in the freezing, green, leaf filled water. Fight over. Raisin ended up with 25 or so holes in her neck and back of the head, Juju's muzzle and throat are a bit knawed up, I got four holes in my foot, four in the big toe, six in my right forearm, and a bruise the size of my head on my hip. I don't think my dogs would help me much

Sounds like you could use a cat?