Yet another transmission question

I have my transmission mostly sorted out. No leaks, seems to shift fine, but only after it warms up. The shifting part. I haven't had any drops on my driveway for a few weeks now, and it's about time I got that sorted.

I have done extensive work to this transmission. Nearly rebuilt it at this point. Changed the fluid 5 times. New filter twice. I even swapped out all of the shift solenoids. Still, until transmission is good and warm, shifts from 1st to 2nd, and 2nd into 3rd is just wrong. It holds first and second way too long won't go into high gear (or torque converter lockup? Is that what that is or is just 4th gear?) at 55-65mph until everything is good and warm causing me to run around 2500-2700 rpm at highway speed. After it warms up, everything shifts fine, except at highway speeds where it will putter along just fine around 2000-2500 rpm the slip down and run the engine back up to 2500-2700 rpm, but only for a few seconds before getting itself sorted again. All of the indicators for each gear work like they are supposed to (no blinking or showing wrong gear) and no check trans light.

I drive 10 miles each way on a highway to and from work, and this is killing my fuel milage as well as driving me batty. I have been chasing transmission problems on this VX since the day I got it. I am so frustrated with this ****** thing that I have started to look into a AR5 manual swap. Any suggestions at this point would be most welcome.