I've Gotta Cut Loose! A 100% True Story:
Lehi: Gateway to American Fork!
I visited the town of Lehi today, and it was a very interesting place. It sort of reminded me of an 80's movie...I forget the name right now.
Anyhow, the town was so quaint that I actually daydreamed about packing up and moving there! That is, until I heard about the city ordinance forbidding dancing of any kind. And you know me...always feeling a little, oh, what's the word...footloose.
No dancing! That sort of riled me up. I just HAD to dance! But where could I indulge this illegal urge? I decided to break into a local grain mill:
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da.../lehimills.jpg
It was a dark, cool, empty warehouse where I was able to cut loose...Footloose!...and kick off my Sunday shoes. I danced so hard it was almost like a gymnastics routine...swinging from conveniently-placed bars and such. I cranked up my VX's stereo and danced until I was dripping with sweat!
I'd thought I was alone in this abandoned mill, but I was being watched by a girl who turned out to be the local preacher's daughter. (You wouldn't know it from her rebellious attitude! Talk about repressed sexuality...) I drove her to the local high school parking lot (with that grain mill in the background):
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da...s/lehihigh.jpg
But her redneck boyfriend got angry when he caught her flirting with me. He challenged me to a dangerous game of "Chicken" out in a nearby field...him in a bulldozer, me in my trusty Vehicross. It was a life-or-death situation! I couldn't back out with the preacher's daughter watching me! But that damn bulldozer was so BIG! When I tried to bail out of my VX a split-second before the explosive collision, my shoelace got snagged on my gas pedal! I was doomed! Thankfully, the redneck boyfriend chickened out, swerved off the road and crashed that bulldozer over a ravine. Someone took this shot right before be rolled down the incline:
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da...ehichicken.jpg
He wasn't injured, but now his girlfriend was REALLY hot for me. This enraged him even more, and he actually smacked her in the face, under the bleachers at this rodeo arena:
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da.../lehirodeo.jpg
This was getting out of hand. Some of us cool kids were hanging out at the local drive-in, listening to our car stereos just a BIT too loudly, and some squaresville adults told us to turn it down! So we drove to the Lehi Recreation Center, which as you can see is the coolest place in town, Daddy-O:
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da...bs/lehirec.jpg
What a day! It was all too much drama for me, so I took my dogs and had coffee at this cool coffee house:
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da.../coolbeans.jpg
Everything turned out okay in the end. I somehow convinced the town council that dancing didn't always lead to sex, unless you wanted it to...so they overturned that pesky "no dancing" ordinance. We held the prom at some other grain mill across the county line, I think. I was drunk, so I don't remember. I DO remember teaching Sean Penn's chunky brother how to dance, out on some football field. That was weird. The preacher's daughter is now my girlfriend, and the preacher ended up being an alien visitor to this third rock from the sun. His wife ended up adopting Edward Scissorhands. It's all true; look it up.
And by the way, "Footloose" WAS filmed in Lehi, Utah. Well, parts of the movie, anyway...
Nobody was arrested during the creation of this post:
http://www.vehicross.info/gallery/da...s/lehifuzz.jpg
